Back to Blogging.. the art of living creatively

Here I am in the middle of the Never Never again, pretty much on my own, with no real understanding exactly why: other than the job, and the quiet.  It is a long way from ‘home’.. wherever that is these days.  So I was pretty happy when Kim and Anne came to visit from Darwin for the weekend. 

It has been so long since I had visitors that I really have lost the art of entertaining.  And it is an art.  Not sure I was ever good at it, but creativity is in all of us, and that is what art should be.

I didn’t know what to tell Kim when she asked about dinner, so I got creative and suggested we go out somewhere.  (Or was that her polite suggestion).. There isn’t a lot to do in Mataranka but the Homestead, in Elsey Park by the thermal pools, serves up decent food, cold beer and sometimes provides live entertainment.  So I figured that would be good. 

But, just in case, I made up a chicken soup in the crock-pot that my principal at Pine Creek so generously saved for me when I fled there when mom passed.   But, that is another story – or maybe another blog.. Kim figures I should start these things up again and I figure I just may. 

Anyway.. Anne asked me what was in the soup.

“This is really good” she said.  (There is an art to being a guest and these two have it down).   I explained that .. “I cook like I paint.  I have no idea when I start where I am going, and at the end of it all.. I have no idea where I have been.  In other words.. I don’t really know.  A whole chicken for sure.. “

And I thought about that.. “I cook like I paint.”  It is true.  But what I realized as the words spilled out of my mouth, is that I also live like I cook…

It’s an art, this thing we call living.  We all do it differently.  Some focus on colour, other’s texture.. some have a plan at the start and do things deliberately, following a recipe.  Others, like me.. not so much.  Ok.. no plan at all.  No idea where I am going.. where I will be in three months, never mind making plans for holidays a year in advance.  It isn’t an easy way to live your life, but who said life should be easy?

I never know where the years, or the months.. or the days will take me. 

..But back to the art analogy.

Probably the uglies thing I have ever done.. yet.. I 'get' it now..
Maybe everything does have a purpose

Last summer I was dealing with mom’s illness..  One of my paintings is of two colors that do not go together well at all.. brilliant purple in wide sweeping lines with a dull ugly earth tone peeking through.  It is an odd piece.. a juxtaposition of color and emotion.   I didn’t understand it at the time.. but when I think about it now, I wonder how I could have created something so amazing.  The dark, dull, earthy color in the background is the reality of the time, terminal cancer.. hiding, but always there.. and then the brilliant purple.. bursting out like an array of light.. We shared so much laughter and honesty that last six months of her life.  I didn’t plan this painting.. and I certainly didn’t understand it at the time.  I thought it was ridiculous..  I just thought that painting with no plan probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do.. it doesn’t always work out. 

But maybe there is a lesson? Or at least, an understanding?

Sometimes I struggle with a painting.. I do it over and over again.   I change the colors, add more texture.. I use the roller, a brush.. I spray it with water and add a bit of newspaper.  I go over it with a towel.. I work on it over time.. and at the end of it, if there seems no end to it. I have something lovely, or something that is just trying too hard. 

I have had life experiences like that.  Gone to places where it doesn’t matter what I do, it just doesn’t work. 

But then again, after time passes I can look at the painting and think… hmm.  That is not so bad.  How did I create that.. it is sort of beautiful. 

Or someone else looks at it and says, wow!  I really like that one.  They see something there that maybe helps them in their journey.. it never was my painting after all.

I often look back at places I have been, things I have done, people I have known and, even if it was really tough at the time, think “That wasn’t so bad.  What a great opportunity.. I am glad I spent the time and went there, did that, saw that.. spent time with that person.”

Sometimes it is just perspective.. stepping back: in space, in time…

When I really thought about it I was able to tell Anne what was in the soup.. It wasn’t just a chicken..  I had added an onion, a couple of carrots and some garlic.  I  let it cook for a while and then mixed those in the blender with some milk and put them back in the crock-pot.  I had added curry and turmeric and pepper.. I added peas, and mushrooms…  some chicken broth, coconut milk.. you get the picture. 

I remembered.. I just had to have a reason to think about it.. someone had to ask. 

Kim has asked me to start up my blog again.. I appreciate that.  It seems that without mom and dad there was no reason to look at my life this way.  But writing is good for me, it brings about clarity. 

I never know where it will take me.  

I am not sure why I am here.. in the Never Never yet again.  But somehow I know I am doing something right.  Somehow I think I will look back on this time and understand.. I need to do my best and keep working on it.  When I step back it will be a bit clearer, maybe not so much beautiful, but logical and part of a much bigger picture. 

My 'just in case' soup was for lunch.. we had dinner at the Homestead as planned.  Turns out planning is good too!  A walk, a swim, some fries and some live family entertainment.  All in all, it was a lovely time.  Thanks for the visit ladies!