December 1/2020

 December 2/2020

For the most part, 2020 has been, well a crazy year - for everyone, not just me.  Everything we think we want and are, has been thrown out the window.. along with all our planning.  

I planned to be away from Mexico for just ten weeks.  I left to work one term in Australia's beautiful Northern Territory and then go back 'home' to Mexico.  And yet, here I am writing this in front of a fire in my new house in Blind Bay, B.C.  Canada.  Ya.. that wasn't even on the list.  

But enough.  Everyone has their Covid-19 story- cancelled weddings and memorials.  I laughed the first time I heard the news about un-masked men running from the scene of a crime.  Un-masked?!  But, it is not all that funny anymore.  People are angry about having to wear a mask.. even people you think would appreciate the extra camouflage. 

But that is not what I am writing about today.  Today I want to tell you about yesterday. 

I made the decision to move back to Canada when it became clear that we were in a pandemic.  It was what we now call 'the first wave' of this thing, and I had no television in my school owned 'donga', so I was listening to the ABC on a radio that had been left behind.  The world was scared and being alone so far from my family and best friends, I was too- not of getting sick, but of not being able to get home should the people I care about get sick.  With all the taxes and government regulations, I thought I had had enough of Canada.. but apparently not. I bought a house in the middle of the province, where from a distance seemed like the shortest distance between kids. 

And yesterday, I decided to get on the road to see Travis and his girls. 

I checked the weather, packed my van and climbed aboard.  Early in the morning.  In the dark.  

It isn't that I forgot that days were this short this far north on the first of December.  It is just that I didn't actually remember.  I was on the road an hour before the sun came up.  The big trucks were still monopolizing the highways, threatening from behind, throwing rocks at the wind screen from in front, and always trying to make their way between the two before slowing down.  

I chose my highway, from the many choices offered just west of Kamloops, and I soon figured out I chose correctly.  The roads were good, but it was cold.  Warm in my car, with the heated seats and steering wheel, but cold outside-minus six, my dashboard thermometer told me.  

I got hungry..  I had thought I wouldn't do that until later.  And I had to pee.  Bad.  The restaurants that served sit down meals along the way all seemed to be closed, or at least not open quite yet, but a Subway appeared with its open light on so I swerved off the highway, parked, ran inside and made a dash for the toilet.  So, when I came out I felt I had to order something.  It is an unspoken rule, you use the facilities, you buy something.  And, as I said, I was hungry.  So, even though I had not had wheat in more than a year, I ordered a six inch sub with an egg and some ham in it.  It was awful.  But, I gobbled it down anyway.  

I had a migraine.  Did I mention that?  I get those things and this was day three of this one. I thought it was better, but maybe because I had waited so long to pee.. or maybe because I had wheat.. or maybe because I felt guilty that I had wheat or who knows why, but I started to feel sick.  My throat hurt, I began sneezing and during a pandemic, these are not good things.  I stopped in the next little town and did some Christmas shopping just to be sure I wasn't making up being sick, but things just got worse. 

So, I turned around and drove home. 

And as I pulled into the driveway of my new home, I began to feel better. 

I don't know what it is about a pandemic, but this year has been hard, on everyone.  Nothing is as it should be.  Nothing is as it was supposed to be.  A year ago, I never would have dreamed of buying a house in Canada.  I did it to be closer to my kids and now, well, we are made to feel so guilty about going to see them, that it can actually make us sick.  

It feels better to be here though.  I feel like I am closer to them, which I am, and that when all this is over, and people get vaccinated, we will be able to travel again.  I am a traveller.  It is that simple.  And not being able to do that makes me feel like a dog tied to a tree.  We can't even make plans as we have no idea what the world will look like when we come out the other end of this. 

But, there is a lot to be grateful for.  Donald Trump lost the American election (even though he still doesn't get that he is not longer president), I have a beautiful home,(even though it is in Canada and the winter here is bloody nuts). I am pretty sure my illness was all in my head- I feel fine this morning and I will get to see my grand children before they finish high school.  Of that I am certain.