Ideas

The lady that wrote Eat Prey Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, explained that ideas are floating around in the air, like a great tiger, and if you don't immediately reach out and solidly take hold of them, they will fly on past you for someone else to capture and put to paper.. or not. This runs true for me.

Idea collection is one of the reasons I like to travel so much.  Well, drive mostly.  It doesn't work for me in a plane, where I could easily capture an idea and go to work on putting it down on the page, as there is lots of time.  But driving down the road in my car, ideas for stories fly past me at incredible speed.  Sometimes they swat me in the face like a big wet fish that I wonder why others didn't duck, but usually they are illusive, like ghosts floating about in the air.  The problem for me is, while the idea can be a great one, and I can spend some kilometers of road thinking about how to expand or use it,  if I don't write it down, actually stop and take notes, it turns to dust.  It is like a dream that melts in my mind when I actually try and make it something solid and logical.  Even if I do stop and get some notes on the page, they seem to make little sense.  With pencil in hand at the side of the road, my brain struggles in its attempt to find what it lost when the thought of pulling over descended. It is left empty, as though there was never any sort of idea at all.  

It is crazy.  But the act of sitting here by my window looking over the lake, fingers on the computer with permission to do as they wish,  ways to be creative are beginning to emerge. I can't try too hard, or they just pack up and go, well, somewhere else.  But if I relax here, with my morning coffee, sometimes they drift up quietly from the lake and the trees, and I can feel a bit of creativity stealing back into my life.

And, of course, I drive. 

From Blind Bay to Salmon Arm takes fifteen minutes, and while it takes a bit of that time for ideas to realize I am on the road again, by the time I hit the first light, they have been floating around in my head.  Kelowna is a little further away. I have been making that trip largely to  pick up stuff at the apartment or go to Costco, and not always paying attention as the ideas drift by, but I know they are there.  When I drive to Kamloops for some Christmas shopping I can feel them knocking, but again, that road is not yet familiar enough for me to answer quite yet.  

I tried heading to visit Travis and the girls, with that lovely stop in Prince George to see Pam and her family, but it was a bit much in the middle of a Canadian winter, during a world wide pandemic. I tried it a week ago: got as far as Clinton. 

The roads were good and the ideas for stories were lapping at my face.  The sun was shining, roads were clear, but when I stopped to pick up some pottery in Clinton, well, the urge to turn back and hole up in my new home, was too strong to resist.  The idea of showing up at people's doors while CBC was announcing rising numbers of Covid-19, and warning people to stay home, combined with memories of snow and icy roads, with limited visibility, .. well it was too much and instead of feeling creative and embracing the drive I just felt anxious.  

So, I am home for the Christmas preparations this year, even though there may be no one calling.  I will keep the hot tub warm and the chemicals balanced.  I have beds ready, and lots of food and drink in the cupboards.  I have paid the bills.  Christmas this year will be what it is.  It has been years since I have had a 'normal' Christmas, whatever that is at this age. I would love my children to be here, sharing in my new home and all that I am finally able to provide after so many years of being so far away - emotionally as well as physically.  But this year, I am just going to be grateful for all that I have.  So many people are struggling with the extra burden this pandemic has placed on us.  I am truly one of the lucky ones.  

So, if I am going to be largely alone for the holidays,  what I would really like for Christmas is a couple of good ideas.  I am going to continue sitting by my window,  letting my fingers do as they will, enjoying short drives, around the lake, and walks along the beach.  The whole while I will be reaching out, grabbing. sorting and reeling in , some of the creative ideas being thrown at me.  

In other words, I am going to pay attention.